I wrote this in a break during a recent zen retreat:
All is one. This lies at the root of spiritual metaphysics – of the kind i know – and in a sense the story ends there. But let’s unpack it a little. What is the nature of “One” ? Well, One is God, but anything which has all qualities yet also no divisions is (logically) without qualities – for qualities require things to contrast with – here is where we get the Buddhist “emptiness” or, if you like, the “nothing is there” which is an a-theist position (i.e. there is no god).
If all is one, that means that the universe, on the one hand and our Self (our soul, or consciousness) on the other, are also truly one and the same thing. This is the position of Advaita (Vedic non-dualism): Atman (Self) = Brahman (the universe). It is also true to say in Advaita that all is Atman or all is Brahman – which sounds a bit like “all is one”. I think though, that there might be a hint here of the fluidity that is the true nature of the one, vs. the rigid mathematical monotheisms, the wholistic philosophy of Plato, instead it is an eternally spinning coin.
That’s all i wrote down that day but i’ve thought a bit more about how i make sense of the world. When i lie awake at night, where do my thoughts go for comfort?
I recently read some verses about Kārttikai Deepam that Michael James had translated and in the explanation, the story of Shiva tricking Brahma and Vishnu, there was this idea of a column of light of infinite length – which is compared to our true nature. We might attempt to find its top – just as logic and the mind tries to explain everything – and we attempt to find its root – just as we plunge inward to find the source of “I” – but both attempts end in failure. Shiva or our true nature is simply that limitless column of light.
There is another verse this reminds me of – from Śrī Aruṇācala Aṣṭakam also translated by Michael James which includes the line – “Like the thread in gems, you alone have shone as he who is one in every soul and in every diverse creed. Like grinding a gem, when one grinds the mind on the stone called mind for blemishes to be removed, the light of your grace will shine forth.” Trying to find our true nature, the one which is infinite, is like finding this thread or pillar of light, without beginning or end. You can’t find it with the mind. You can’t find it by seeking. You find it by grinding down the mind, then there is no mind to report “there is no mind!”.
I’m beginning to think of returning to Arunachala some time (i wrote about my last trip here) but I don’t know if i its in my destiny.
I do believe in destiny. I believe that free will is an appearance, that everything is kind of pre-ordained, and that the universe including time is a sort of lump that is already all perfectly in order (in western philosophy this is more or less the block universe theory of time). The illusion is the sense that we are travelling though it. This is true right down to the tiniest speck. It seems like a ridiculous belief, which gives me a kind of chuckle when i think about it. Funnily enough it doesn’t really give me a strong feeling of resignation. The spark of mystery still exists, it’s just that the mystery is my own ignorance of what really is.
So because of this I do believe in past lives to an extent, or more correctly, i believe since time is an illusion, that this life is not the linear thing it appears to be, nor does it begin and end in birth and death as the logic of the mind would have us believe. But as our true nature is part of everything which includes consciousness, then we are plainly sharing in the life which is the lives of other things and creatures (and stars and aliens..). It doesn’t matter really what the mechanics of it all are, and i don’t think there’s a science to it, but insofar as we can say time appears to exist then being a part of all things implies ”past” lives also exist. And perhaps they play a part in our current waking or subconscious life somehow too.
The ethical position that arises from this is naturally, compassion, love and gentleness towards other living creatures. To feel hate or fear about others is a symptom of our feeling separate from them, which is our forgetting our true nature. Of course it’s an instinctual feeling and abandoning that instinct might requre a certain discipline. I don’t think we can extrapolate it out to say that we have a responsibility towards all other creatures – that is beyond us. We are not necessarily here to solve the problems of the world or the creatures in it, just because we can identify it with our own true self. Sometimes I think we can see through those problems to get a glint of the masterplan, where everything is in balance, and we do have some role in that, but it could be any kind of role. Mundane or fantastic. Best thing is to stick to the path inward, to know your self.
When meditating recently i’ve had the thought that we must just keep pushing. Don’t look back to see how things are going. I had a dream last night and got a feeling that the me in the dream had a different past. Like when you hold a bundle of sticks in the middle, all momentarily aligned are the timelines of life, in this moment, but with many different pasts, different futures. That’s the sort of thing i’m talking about.