I wrote this in a break during a recent zen retreat:
All is one. This lies at the root of spiritual metaphysics – of the kind i know – and in a sense the story ends there. But let’s unpack it a little. What is the nature of “One” ? Well, One is God, but anything which has all qualities yet also no divisions is (logically) without qualities – for qualities require things to contrast with – here is where we get the Buddhist “emptiness” or, if you like, the “nothing is there” which is an a-theist position (i.e. there is no god).
If all is one, that means that the universe, on the one hand and our Self (our soul, or consciousness) on the other, are also truly one and the same thing. This is the position of Advaita (Vedic non-dualism): Atman (Self) = Brahman (the universe). It is also true to say in Advaita that all is Atman or all is Brahman – which sounds a bit like “all is one”. I think though, that there might be a hint here of the fluidity that is the true nature of the one, vs. the rigid mathematical monotheisms, the wholistic philosophy of Plato, instead it is an eternally spinning coin.
That’s all i wrote down that day.
When i first met my old friend William van Brussel in Auroville in the 90’s he pointed to his LSD-modulated realisation moment as the discovery that “all is one”. It’s always stuck with me as a handy catchphrase for pointing at the sublime wholeness of things. It’s essentially a mathematical statement though, or maybe it belongs in set theory—God (or our Self or our true nature or “energy man”) is the set of all things that exist and don’t exist. And also of the things that neither exist nor do they not exist. And also all the things that exist and don’t exist. There’s a bit of Buddhist logic for you. I think that covers everything.
I recently read some verses about Kārttikai Deepam that Michael James had translated and in the explanation, the story of Shiva tricking Brahma and Vishnu, there was this idea of a column of light of infinite length – which is compared to our true nature. From Michael:
“Brahma assumed the form of a swan and began flying upwards in order to find the summit of the column, while Vishnu took the form of a boar and began burrowing deep into the ground in order to find its foot. Though Brahma flew upwards for thousands of years, he could not reach the summit, so he eventually gave up all hope of ever reaching it. However… he decided to tell a lie, saying that he had reached the summit. Vishnu, in the meanwhile, also understood that he would never be able to reach the foot of the self-luminous column, but unlike Brahma he decided to return and humbly admit his failure… On their return, seeing the dishonesty and arrogance of Brahma, Shiva manifested himself in his human-like form from within the column and declared Brahma to be a liar.” (which explains why no-one worships Brahma now).
We might attempt to find its top – just as logic and the mind tries to explain everything – and we attempt to find its root – just as we plunge inward to find the source of “I” – but both attempts end in failure. Shiva or our true nature is simply that limitless column of light.
Incidentally this story is a bit like the one of Buddha challenging monkey to jump out of his hand—monkey flies on his magic cloud to the edge of the universe and leaves his signature on five pillars there—returning to Buddha to boast of his success, Buddha just holds up his five fingers on which are scrawled monkey’s signature.
There is another verse this reminds me of – from Śrī Aruṇācala Aṣṭakam also translated by Michael James which includes the line – “Like the thread in gems, you alone have shone as he who is one in every soul and in every diverse creed. Like grinding a gem, when one grinds the mind on the stone called mind for blemishes to be removed, the light of your grace will shine forth.” Trying to find our true nature, the one which is infinite, is like finding this thread or pillar of light, without beginning or end. You can’t find it with the mind. You can’t find it by seeking. You find it by grinding down the mind, then there is no mind to report “there is no mind!”.
I’m beginning to think of returning to Arunachala some time (i wrote about my last trip here) but I don’t know if it is in my destiny or not.
I do believe in destiny, and that free will is an appearance, that everything is kind of pre-ordained, and that the universe including time is this sort of infinite thing that is nonetheless already all perfectly in order like a multidimensional crystal lattice (in western philosophy this is more or less the block universe theory of time). The illusion is the sense that we are travelling though it linearly. But really everything down to the tiniest speck is already in place eternally. I know this seems to some people like a ridiculous belief, and it even gives me a kind of chuckle when i think about it. Funnily enough it doesn’t really give me a strong feeling of resignation. The spark of mystery still exists, it’s just that the mystery is my own ignorance of what really is. But there’s also a sort of satisfaction in it, a quietism.
So because of this view of the nature of the universe and of time I do believe in past lives to an extent, or more correctly, i believe since time is an illusion, that this life is not the linear thing it appears to be, nor does it begin and end in birth and death as the logic of the mind would have us believe. But we as our true nature are part of everything (which includes consciousness), then we are plainly sharing in, at one with, the life which is the lives of other things and creatures (and stars and aliens and teapots). It don’t think it matters to sort out what really the mechanics of it all are, and i don’t think there’s a “natural science” to it, but insofar as we can say time appears to exist then being a part of all things implies ”past” lives also exist. And future lives. And indeed perhaps they play a part in our current waking or subconscious life somehow too. Insofar as that exists, for really it is all a waking dream.
The ethical position that arises from this I think naturally, is compassion, love and gentleness towards other living creatures. To feel hate or fear about others seems like it could be a symptom of our feeling separate from them, which is our forgetting our true nature. Unless we despise our own self, maybe that could be true, but getting closer to the knowledge of our true self, dropping our obsession with the matters of the world, should lead to a kind of relief. Like putting down your shopping bags after a long trip home through the city. I’ve already said there’s no free will so it’s not even worth worrying about whether we are doing the right thing or not – at some level we are helpless in it all. But knowing about this helplessness, really knowing it, feeling it, that’s the same thing as getting out of it. We are really not here to solve the problems of the world or the creatures in it, or rather we are, but it’s happening through us, not because of us, and anyway there are no problems baby only solutions. Sometimes I think we can see through those problems to get a glint of the masterplan, where everything is in balance, and we certainly do have some role in that, as we are seeing through the eye of the great beholder.
It is certainly true that we are not-the-body. This is the first step in looking into yourself. Once you realise that, you are free of this world. Once you find that I-sense is somehow deeper than this flesh, deeper than the breath, then you are starting to get somewhere. Every now and then on the way down you get this doubt and want to swim back up, that’s fine. Say hello to the world. Then go back inside. They will all say you are mad, that’s ok… somebody has to be mad.
When meditating recently i’ve had the thought that we must just keep pushing. Don’t look back to see how things are going. I had a dream last night and got a feeling that the me in the dream had a different past. Like when you hold a bundle of sticks in the middle, all momentarily aligned are the timelines of life, in this moment, but with many different pasts, different futures. That’s the sort of thing i’m talking about.