A sudden plosm creates echoes. Later i exhume the body of an old pet, and notice that the chickens are all gone. So now is the time for wine and music… the blood on my fingers.. picking up the guitar the snow begins to fall, cooling my mind like a song.
Several days at home with my daughter, who has a fractured tibia. We do puzzles together. It’s winter now so I endlessly am chopping and carting wood, avoiding the weather, being sat on by my cats. Me and my million progeny extend to the horizons.
The world is suspiciously paused. Half the people think they want a revolution because they read about it in the paper. The world is sinking, but ever so slowly. People only notice it at the fringes.
When walking in up in the Victorian Alps near Howqua, with some friends last spring, i was listening to the ravens and their strange half-human language which has been echoing around those mountains for millennia. Suddenly i felt light headed and as i sat down i fainted and drifted off into a dream for all eternity. Coming around with my friends shaking me, i looked at the mountains around me and felt completely confused as to what part of my life i was supposed to be living. It rushed back eventually and then i spent the rest of the walk worrying that i’d faint and embarrass myself again. But the experience of my identity unravelling like that was on the whole really refreshing. What i liked was the heady feeling of unconcern for my own mortal wellbeing. It’s a truism but once you’re dead you really don’t worry about being dead – the terror of death is a burden for the living alone.
Such a short holiday.. soon Sanskrit will take up all my time again. I was reading David Godman’s pages again this week and perhaps what i’ll do eventually is translate the Arunachala Mahatmyam. When I imagine myself in India again it’s either in the mountains or somewhere south.. these are always strangely lucid dreams, full of odd psychic vapours.
My other fascinations abound and are squeezed into these holiday periods.. recording music, reading about all the minerals in the world, and the metals, following the damn politicians..